Category Archives: General

How Far is Far? – I

If you are in a relationship, then you had better read this! 

There are all kinds of people. Sometimes we fall head over heels in love with one. All well until the fall does not take its toll on us. There are many researches as to what makes us get attracted to a person and why we fall in love and what dynamics operate later. My intent for this post is not those researches. It is a plain urge to share a bit of knowledge and experience that might be life-saving to someone who might land upon on this page. Well, no drama there, when I say ‘life-saving’, I mean life-saving.

At the outset I wish to draw the difference between a personality issue and a personality disorder. Most of us have personality issues that are fine when we are alone but create problems when we get together with someone who has an incompatible personality. Say for example I am fixated on being organised and I fell in love with someone who can live comfortably in a pigsty, then we are bound to have issues sooner or later. I grow up believing that All husbands must be like my father/ all wives must be like my mother. But there is no way two human beings are ever going to be alike. There, we have a disappointment now. These are issues. And these will be there in any union. That ideal man or woman who you have sculpted in your head does not exist and it can come as a rude shock when you wake up to reality. Continue Reading

Women don’t have a Soul. Period!!

See, women don’t have a soul.  That’s it, Period. What?? You say no? Ok, let me change the sentence a little. May be they do have a soul, but it must be very obvious that they have a very inferior soul. much inferior to a man’s, at least. Oh no, not again! You are protesting for this too? How thick can you get? Let’s look at all the circumstantial evidence for my statement, ok? 

Why go far, let’s just take the recent scandal Kristen Stewart Scandal. The 22 year old Kristen cheats on her boy friend Rob to make out with 41 year old Boss/director Sanders, who is married happily with two young kids. Underline the word “boy friend” and underline the word “Married”. Now everyone should know automatically that cheating a boy friend is much more criminal than cheating on a married partner. Especially when you have kids, a 5 year old and a 7 year old, your crime becomes much lesser if you make out with a girl who is twenty years your junior. And of course, you being 41 years old, your mistakes can be forgiven so easily; after all you have not had that much experience at that young age. Your impulsive desire to cheat on your wife is no big deal. So you take only one-twentieth of the total brunt directed towards the black sheep. All this because you have a man-soul only know? A man- soul can get away with anything, stupid! Continue Reading

Ban Vadai & Idly, I say!

Scene: Make Up room, DD.


  • One woman,
  • A cellphone,
  • An anonymous person, X at the other end of another cell phone somewhere.
  • Me: sitting in the chair and and having my make up applied on me.

Woman (highly emotional): … And then my husband got up, threw the vadai in his face, caught him by the shirt collar and gave him a smack across his cheek. (the look of pride on her face at this stupendous achievement by the husband was phenomenal!)

X: “——–“(God knows what he/she said.)

Woman: Then what?!! What do they think of the bride groom’s family, I say?! Isn’t there a way to treat us? If you ask me he deserved every slap he got.

X:………… ………………. …………………………. Continue Reading

Grow up!

Do the male animal of any species, mate with the female of its species forcibly? Without the female’s explicit consent? To my knowledge, I know not a single incident where this has happened. And no, never heard of a thirty animals pack surrounding a lone female while they grope its body part. And certainly never of  another animal standing by idly and capturing the whole scene in its mobile.

Why? Why this insanity? I am not simply talking about mass scale insanity like these, but what I see in every counselling session. I see the parents of the kids  defining morality as ‘not having lustful thoughts.’ To them a ‘bad kid’ is someone genuinely interested in girls or boys, whoever happens to be the opposite sex. Continue Reading

In the name of ‘Love’…

(Incident narrated with the permission of the concerned person)

That phone call began like any other.

“Am I talking with Kirtanya?” Clear tones of a woman in her late forties.

“Yea, you are. Please go on.”

“Madam, I would like an appointment with you?”

“Ok. Could you please outline the issue for me?”

“Oh, It’s regarding my daughter Ma’am who is 24 years old. She has become very reactive and doesn’t seem to care about me. I watch all your programs in TV and they are simply superb. (Well, no exaggeration 🙂 I am really quoting her) I thought you will be the right person to counsel her.”

“You can definitely bring her over. But I am very tightly scheduled for the next two weeks. Please call me after a week and fix your appointment.”

“Ok.. But can I atleast talk to you over the phone?”

“Certainly! Go ahead.” Continue Reading

Down the Rabbit ‘memory’ hole…

At two years, the fat baby is my sister Jaya!

I stood there with my little niece, at the very end of the street, unable to believe that the men disappearing far away around the corner, had on their shoulders, my father. And that I will never again see his toothless smile for as long as I live. There is no going back!! With an aching heart, listening to the child’s babble of my niece repeating innocently, “Thaatha ookkuu poitta.., thatha thetthu poitta.., thatha kulichuthu oorkku poitta..” I turned and walked back through the main street of my native village.

Lost in thoughts, I didn’t notice the woman who was walking towards me until she planted herself firmly in front of me and said, “Hey, do you remember me?” She looked at least ten years older to me. For the life of me I could not recollect the face staring at me. And then she said excitedly, “I am Ammu, Ammu, don’t you remember, We studied together here in the corporation school” An image of a tiny little girl with tearful and accusing eyes staring up at me flashed before me. I asked her pensively, “Were you the one in whose face I threw my lunch??!!” She laughed and said, “Not only that, the next day you got your father to my home, made it look as though it was all my mistake and man, did he fight with my father tooth and nail?!” Continue Reading

What if this happens one day?!?

Your husband, (wife if you are a male) comes home one day with a much younger, adorable, sweet woman(man) and tells you excitedly, “Honey, guess what?!? You are so sweet, so cute, so adorable that I decided to have another wife just like you!” Even as you are recovering from the shock he goes on to say, “Is n’t it thrilling to think of the stuff you both can do together everyday! Ahh, its so much fun to have company for you!” Just visualise the scenario as though it is happening now. 🙂 How would you feel? (Substitute wife for husband and ‘she’ for ‘he’ through out the post if you happen to belong to the male species.)

A few days later you, your husband and the new wife go for a party. All your husband’s friends and even your friends just pass over you with a casual “how are you” thrown half-handedly over your head, but are gushing endlessly over the new wife “Choo chweet, Isn’t she a darling?!! Awww.. cutie pie!!” Again, visualise yourself nibbling your lower lip, and tell me how are you feeling?

As the new wife is settling in very well and consuming all your husband’s attention, you are sulking in your room. One day, your husband barges into your room and starts rummaging in your shelf. He selects few of your clothes and accessories. You ask what is wrong and your husband off-handedly answers “Oh honey, I am sure these things have become old and you can give it off to her!” – Your reactions? Continue Reading

Cleverly Tackling a Husband/Boyfriend…

It is absolutely a dismal understanding by women to think that they can handle their husbands/boyfriends with sex alone. Sometimes they also need food.

(Well, to appreciate this entry’s brevity and content be sure to read Cleverly tacking a wife/girlfriend… 😀 )

Cleverly Tackling a Wife/Girl-friend…

I get all nettled when I see most men going clueless about tackling a woman, especially if this unfortunate creature happens to share a long-term romantic relationship with her. I have seen some men who would more readily volunteer to watch ten vijay movies back-to-back seated in front row than mess around with his woman when she has a tantrum. All his efforts to get the problem to end soon makes him wish he could turn himself into a superpower Tortoise coil for women and incapacitate her with just his fumes! For these true warriors whose battles never end, whose praises never get sung, who are forever in the delirium of dealing with the maiden’s madness, I have now set upon a task of providing the knack of going about a woman’s emotions.

Fore warned is fore-armed. It always helps to expect a problem than be surprised by it out of the blue. Certain words announce trouble much before it actually arrives. “your mother”, “your-sister”, “your house”, “that girl”, “lonely”, “sad”, “no-time”, “Am I beautiful”, “love me?”, “respect” and only a thousand other words that you will come to know later. When you hear them, simply know that the cyclone may strike anytime and prepare yourself. Be careful though, opening the subject before she does will only fetch an additional night of battle and an extra desire to be the ultimate tortoise coil.

Once she has started talking about the problem which might or might not have anything to do with you, bring on to your face that look which you reserved for the times when you were a student, gazing earnestly as though you were the next Einstein, while all the time dreaming of Katrina Kaif or being a Sachin Tendulkar in your mental bio-scope. And for heaven’s sake look at her instead of the model on the TV. After you have this look on place, now listen to her.

Continue Reading

Save your child from yourself – 1

I made this cartoon with Zoho Toondoo to save myself a long rant about how parents are doing things all wrong. 🙂 But still I should rant a little at least!

We tend to tell our children what to do all the time by giving them orders. If you notice, this leads to a lot of arguments, resistance and rebellion. You will easily get your child to do what you want if only you learn one skill…Instead of tearing your hair off by blaming and accusing and topping it up by commanding them what to do, simply describe the problem, let them decide what ought to be done, and do it!

With this skill, you will first of all save yourself a nasty mood, and better still not screw up your child’s emotional world by reinforcing his/her attitude.

When you see your child walk in without closing the door, Instead of bellowing ” HOW CARELESS CAN YOU GET?! CLOSE THE DOOR!!!”, Just say, “Priya, The door.” Just One word. Nothing more. Well, Why should you do this? First of all you are letting your child think for herself “what’s wrong with the door?!” And find a solution herself. When you command, naturally there is resistance. She might obey you but with silent resentment. When you simply point the problem, her brain visualizes the solution and takes voluntary action. You have no hostility in the bargain.

Happy you, Happy kid!

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