Ban Vadai & Idly, I say!

Scene: Make Up room, DD.


  • One woman,
  • A cellphone,
  • An anonymous person, X at the other end of another cell phone somewhere.
  • Me: sitting in the chair and and having my make up applied on me.

Woman (highly emotional): … And then my husband got up, threw the vadai in his face, caught him by the shirt collar and gave him a smack across his cheek. (the look of pride on her face at this stupendous achievement by the husband was phenomenal!)

X: “——–“(God knows what he/she said.)

Woman: Then what?!! What do they think of the bride groom’s family, I say?! Isn’t there a way to treat us? If you ask me he deserved every slap he got.

X:………… ………………. ………………………….

Woman: See,  this is exactly what happened. Half way through the reception the food got over, a miscalculation by the bride’s family.  The caterers prepared some ready uppuma and vadai. How can we send away our relatives like that? So we made it very clear, that we want the same food for all. and then…


Woman: no listen, A little while later, my husband asked for a vadai, and can you believe, instead of keeping one, the fellow kept three vadai.. My husband got so angry, he thrashed up that man. See how egoistic(she means the other man, not her husband) know? We have become so light is it?….If we ask for one vadai, how dare they keep three? do they think we are fools are what… Thats when my husband gave him a slap… It became such a big issue, and we made it very clear to the boy that we were extremely upset and that he…….

Trust me, my head began to reel at this point. What the heck! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. You know what, methinks banning vadai, idly, chutney and its other accompaniments in Indian marriages is a really good idea. I am sure more number of wars in the history of in-laws are made in the name of Idly vadai than any other worthwhile issue apart from, of course, dowry.

If you know Tamil, just read the clipping below and you will understand what I am talking about. 

And then there was another issue in which the bride’s family got affronted because they were not consulted in deciding the menu. They wanted Keerai Onion Vadai to be served whereas the groom’s side  served plain vadai.

There was another issue in which Sambhar spilt at the guest’s lap and the groom’s side was mortally affronted that they wouldnt compromise without a public apology by the bride’s side.

Oh, I can quote any number of issues with these villains as the centre creating so much bitterness.

Ban these culprits I say! Atleast then maybe, just maybe, In the absence of vadai-created sufferings, we will realise that a marriage is not really about any relative, it isn’t about who gets affronted by what. It is not in the least about the guests who come to the marriage, but rather it is the most important moment, most beautiful, once in a life time moment for two individuals, and it is all about them. This day can either be their doom, a death warrant or a happy sojourn in heaven, a dream come true. Either ways, let them get there without your help.  Whoever you are, a parent, a sibling, that damn close relative, please step aside and let your children begin their life together with sweetness.

Don’t contribute to their misery. They are going to create enough of it by themselves without you.


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Nice one, except I felt it would have left a deeper impact without the last line.

I’m also one of the victim of Vadai… 🙂 so let us ban vadai in Indian functions..