Immortals

This movie was just plain DISASTER. Coming from me, this is really something since I usually tend to find any mythical epic, historical war film utterly fascinating. I Just love them, the settings, the dresses, the stories, the values, the grandiosity everything transports me to another time and another world from which I am ever reluctant to return. However bad the movie you will find me enjoying it! Immortals is the only exception to this long held love of mine.

Half the scenes were so dark that you wondered if you were watching a new style – the black movies, you imagine what you want to see!! The next half was so grizzly violent that you felt like throwing up, brutally sticky images of the young oracles butchered and locked into the minotaur’s metal statue and roasted alive, plucking out eyes with bare fingers, making a man open his legs wide and hammering him, My God! not to add the special effects of flying blood and flesh in the name of 3D. Well, technically sometimes it was superlative 3D effects, but when you repeatedly get to see the same bloodthirst again and again it becomes boring and sadistical. I especially liked the fancy hairdos of the gods and their elegant costumes. And I can go as far as to say the epirus bow looked very interesting.

As to the story itself, well, I guess the dream industry does give you the right to distort stories but this hideous a cook up is simply unforgivable. Theseus in the original version is the son of king Aegeus and princess Aethra who proves himself a hero by lifting an unliftable boulder under which was buried a weapon which his father had left him. After knowing the identity of his father, he goes to claim his rightful place as the heir, encounters many adventures on the way and finally battles with Minotaur-the bull monster in a maze. Princess Ariadne helps him conquer the monster and all is well in the end.

It was pathetic to see the central theme of Theseus’s story, Minotaur, reduced to a small statue serving as a hot metal cage to torture young girls. Atleast they could have stuck to some facts in the original story or they should have called this story by another name, not the story of Theseus. And someone please enlighten me, why the hell did they name the movie ‘immortals’ when an angry God can commit suicide and the almighty Zeus’s daughter-god, Athena can be killed in a war?? Am I missing something?

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